I was really sick for the first time in several years last two weeks ago and it made me think about my values, the power of chance and no matter how in control we might feel, everything can change in only seconds. 

For example, I had plans to go on a road trip, see my friends, study and enjoy the lightheartedness of summer. But suddenly I was unable to. I wasn't able to even manage with every day tasks. Now those simple things that I was unable to do laying in bed or sitting in the waiting room at the hospital give me so much joy and I really do appreciate them more.

I felt too weak and powerless to move much -everyday chores like lifting up the tea pot to pour myself a cup of tea required all my energy. Reading, one of the most precious hobbies that I have, felt very wearing. Normally when I'm sick I'll binge watch movies and read from dawn to dusk. This time it was more like a couple of hours with extensive breaks in between. I couldn't even dream of cooking -a thing I had been looking forward to doing after I get out of my summer job. Not to mention how out of question going out was.






With this experience I am now more aware of how I feel, of the moment I am in. I thank myself for the exercise I have gotten to do, I don't have to reach the same results every time. I thank my surroundings, I live in a beautiful, safe country where I have access to health care -for free- and am not constantly in fear of anything. I thank the people around me. Because I know who really care about me. I also respect everyone as a unique individual and understand to ration their role and impact on my life. Some people are there to help you grow even though it might feel like they are simply in your way. The same thing goes for hardships in life.

I know that with time I will forget to be grateful for the small things in this kind of way. We never really remember to do that. We tend to take things for granted. But I will remember it better now that I have fresh memory to build these thoughts onto. And I want to remind you of these things too. Not everything has to be perfect or go as you planned. Of course it's ok and normal to feel upset when life stabs you in the back (you have no idea how devastated I was having to spend my vacation sick), but maybe next time you can try to see the other side of the situation and look at the light int the darkness.



Next time on a lighter note again ;) <3